Here are mine:

It's a shame we aren't Mormon -- I could have two wives.

It is a shame your boobs aren't bigger.

I don't want to work on the marriage because with work and school, I just don't have the energy.

Our marriage isn't going to work -- the way you dress and the way I dress are too different.

I don't mind being alone and I don't miss you, which seems wrong.

I am not running away and taking the easy way out by getting my own place. Taking the easy way out would be to stay here and work on the marriage....I'm giving up a lot by moving out.

I just feel like I'm in your way when I'm here.

If Lee (our eldest son 21) hadn't moved out none of this would have happened

You look older than me...(funny cause the ow was older than me ..but was surgicaly enhanced..lmaoooo)

I never really loved you ...(really we've been married 18 years and now you realize that)

You always tried to control me

And me!

Marrying you was a mistake. [looking at unemployment when we met, at college whilst I encouraged and supported us, now a Wall St banker]

You have let me down [when penis and heart was buried deep in OW]

I have been miserable for 2 years. No, 5. No, 10.

Why are you destroying everything? [in the face of my rage and pain]

I don't know what I want [yes you do. OW ass-kissing, and idiot at home looking after the kids]

I don't love you and I don't think I ever will again [so where are my divorce papers?]

Now:

I never stopped loving you.

She was a fantasy, and didn't really mean anything [two years?]

She is a pathetic idiot, and I despise her

I am so sorry. I cannot believe the pain I have caused [thank you.]

I really didn't think any of this through. I must have been mad.

Ex-wife: "We never should have been married. I never would have gone through with it, but your mother drugged me right before the wedding -- she gave me dramamine."

Me then:

Me now:

Instead of signing a holiday card with the usual "I love you!! xxxooooo smooch smooch slobber slobber" etc., he signs it this way (during A, before I knew):

"Wishing you all the love you deserve in the coming year."

Me then: What the hell?
Me now: What an idiot!

I think I did it (went with ow) to help me with my writing. ( when I repeated this back to him 5 mins later, he replied 'is that what I said?' and looked genuinely confused, scared and disbelieving that he said it at all.

When he suggested we date other people, I asked was he also 'suggesting that we have sex with these other people' he got angry and said, 'well you're not an animal fudge. you CAN control yourself can you not!? ( ME??? ) Again no recollection of even suggesting dating others when I reminded him.

I love you in EVERY way. You're perfect. I have to leave.

I never had ANY intention of leaving. YOU MADE me go.

I want us to get back together. Just when you do be 'sharp' with me like today makes me think 'no'.


You gotta laugh!!

Here's one I just got today via text. LOL!

As part of my "detatching", I have resolved to detatch, but do something nice in regard to him every day (love him from a distance). So I texted the following:

"It was nice having you near me last night." (because instead of sleeping with s9 he slept in our bed!?!?!? But on the edge of his mattress. LOL!

He sends this back via text: "Your Welcome." LOL!!!

Can't commit to saying, "Yes it was nice." And can't let it go without responding because that would push me away too far. So I get "You're welcome?!?!?!!?"

In response to my repeated requests for us to spend time together!!!!
" I thought it would be nice if you helped me complete my tax return"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......... untiL 3AM...................

X had moved out, and was already living with OW, it had been 2 weeks or so since he left. He watched the boys one night a week, he'd bring them to my house and put them to bed, and I'd be home by 8:30pm...

X says "I'm not watching the kids for you so that you can go running around"

Me said "Who do you think is raising your kids while you're out there running around"

He had no reply! tee hee...

A slight variation on the common " I love you but I'm not in love with you, well I 'm not in love with you half of the time and I am in love with you half of the time." (so it makes sense to work on that . NO? No. )

"In 1993 when the children were little, you stayed in bed until 11 o clock and left me to look after them when I was feeling ill." ( Now I honestly can't remember, why would I have kept it in my memory bank? I don't know if I was ill as well, or if she'd told me she was ill at the time or if it actually happened!!! I don't remember her talking to me about it either. In 1993!)

Re son " why won't he come to see me".
" Have you invited him round?"
"No" ( Doh!)

I asked her if she was happier now than when she was living with me, reply, "success doesn't equate to happiness" I asked her what that meant. She thought a few moments and said "I don't know".

" Did I say that?! Oh I'm so sorry, how rude of me to say that!" She's said that on two occasions.

" I'm never coming back as I'm not prepared to live with a sexual abuser."

" You've not rang me for weeks and then you ring me twice in two days!!!!!! Angry that I'd not contacted her. " Three sentences later, " Give me space!!!!!!"

I asked her why she was angry with me - "because you keep ringing me" I haven't been ringing you. "Haven't you?Oh no it was J who couldn't get through"

I asked her why she wouldn't see me on her own. " because you tie me in knots verbally when we are on our own"
But we haven't seen each other on our own, there's always someone else there " oh haven't we????????"

" I'm really worried about my memory, I went round to see a patient and couldn't remember what I'd gone for, I'm scared she will report me." Two hours conversation re her memory followed. 3 weeks later I asked her how her memory was. " my memory, well it's not as good as when I was younger but it's OK" Looks at me like I'm stupid, why am I asking about her memory. Obviously forgotten. lol.

I 've asked her something ,different things and she says " oh you know..." No that's why I was asking. I ask again. Silence.

Lots of half sentences, never finished.

Me... "you're awfully miserable for someone who left in search of his happiness"

Him... "I'm not happy, that's the problem with people today, they just assume things"

Me... "Well you better get looking for that happiness, you paid a big price for it"

Him... "I am happy, leave me alone and stop picking on me..."

H- Why don't you go out with my brother?

I- What????? (before I knew he had an affair)

H- you two would be good together...and OoOh yea, don't forget to wear a condom.......

I- what the h--l are you talking about?

H- no matter who you're with....wear a condom....



Well at least he cares for my well being...

I was going out with some gfriends just after he left. He came to pic up the kids...

Told me to have fun, and go out and live on the edge, go and get laid. Then I could tell him if he was actually good in bed, how could I know if I hadn't been with others.

I said you don't know me very well if you think I'm going to go and pick someone up at the pub. He said I knew you wouldn't do it.

I said so you want me to go out and get laid, do you even hear yourself.

He said well no, I'd hate it if you went out and got laid, the thought of that kills me-but atleast go out and kiss someone.

After reading these, it reminds me of a bumpersticker I heard about that I would love to give to each of our wayward partners:

"Your proctologist called. He found your head."

Hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!

My H told me he had 30 years of misery. Damn, I'm good.

Duffy

Um... where can we got a bumper sticker like that...

My XW told me that her affairs were "....God's will...." - and that they "held our marriage together".....

Oh too funny. I am laughing out loud here.

Now soemwhere on this forum is a great picture of a guy with his head up his butt. It sort of sums all these comments up

Some of my favourites for why my ex was leaving me from memory were...

You didn't make me dinner one night (we were married for about 12 years so I reckon thats a pretty good record)

You buy the wrong toilet paper. OW buys the nice soft stuff. (ok first I heard about the loo paper and you have been wiping your butt on it for the last 12 years or so - oh yeah maybe now it is scratching your face since it is in your butt now)

You took all my money and spent it. (yep on the bills for your business and your family)

You are selfish (I heard this one over and over and over in the years before the bomb dropped - after I found out he had been seeing the skank for those years. Might be a little self projection there I am thinking)

Oh yeah and then after he left he told me that I was now free to go and f$%# my boyfriend from highschool (who i hadn't seen in over 15 years) because I had been secretly lusting after him our whole married life. ( WTF!?)

Oh and funnier still was when I started dating my now husband I told my ex I was dating someone and he had the hide to tell me he hoped it wasn't this guy we both knew cause he didn't like him. ( You have got to be kidding me. He had to been sleeping with my best friend for years before he left and now he was telling me who I could or couldn't date). hehehehe

These things still make me shake my head even today four years later. It truly shows me that he was far far away off with the aliens at the time because no sane person seriously says shit like this.

Keep Smiling

Rosebud

Oh Sunshine I heard something so similar to this!

He wished I would go out and date (a month after he left) so then I'd know if he really was the one I wanted to be married to. I guess those first ten years didn't count?

I know I've posted this one before, but it really is my favorite:

him (regarding OW): Can we adopt her?

Puppy love?
Madonna complex?

W.....T.....F?????????????

Just thought of some more.
Re neighbours who split for a while. This is 3 days before she left. "A was gone for 9 months and J took him back because she loved him enough to do that."
"I don't want to give you false hope."
In a letter. " I miss you greatly most of the time but I feel that we are better off apart."

Reading through this list is the proof to me that things just aren't 'right' with the MLCer. Often the oddest of things that X said where at times when he most honest. It's reality the way he sees it.

Yep. It's like they're looking at themselves in the reflection of a funhouse mirror -- no matter the angle, they are completely distorted, and they think it's normal.

I remember a few weeks after H started A with ow and he had come to visit me, and he told me that ow had asked H if he would divorce me, his reply to her was No, not at this stage.
Then he said that he told her that he loved me and his love for me was very deep.
Then he says to me with a smirk on his face, She didn't like that.

Later I was telling this to my neighbour friend whom I had talked to a bit about what was going on - and he said, Well WTF is he doing with another woman.

BRILLIANT! Now thats comedy.

Oh, I have many but these come to mind right now:


Him: I knew you were a piece of shit before I ever married you.

Me: Really? Well, I didn't figure out that you were a piece of shit until after I married you so which one of us is the dumbass?

****************

Here's another....same theme as above:

Him (talking about OW): You would not believe how many times her ex cheated on her...before they ever married!

Me: You waited 25 years into our marriage to cheat on me so which one of us is a dumbass?

*****************

January: H, embroiled in steamy affair, wants me to sign on a loan with him to draw cash out of community property. I refuse.

October: He's now QUIT his job (in this economy!), living with ow, has no $$$, lost friends, etc.
Says regarding my refusal on loan months before: "I'll never forgive you."

Oh, dear.

And that affects my life exactly how????

You know what amazes me? Five to six years ago, I would have read this and been in total disbelief of a scenario like this. Now, I find it perfectly "normal" for the circumstances. Reminds me of my H stopping by one day (on his way back to OW), standing in the kitchen and saying, "I think we should refinance the house again and get this kitchen remodeled for you." All I heard was "I think we should refinance this house again under the ruse that it will be to remodel the kitchen but really I'm going to take all the money and continue my party out in la-la land."

Precisely! I think they have been bitten by the same bug.

Here's another one:

He is the one who left. He is the one who began an affair. He is the one who filed for divorce. But HE is the one who has stated repeatedly that he is "NOT going to pay any lawyer's fees.'

He's representing himself; I retained an attorney. So, even though he's the one who wants the divorce, I should pay all the legal fees.

How's that for logic??

Oh!, That's right; logic doesn't count here!

Ya know.... I heard this too.

We should get a home equity line, pay off my credit cards, fix the roof and replace the heat pump.

This was two months after he left... I just looked at him and said I...don't think that is a smart idea right now.

'You see things only in black and white??' Like adultary and moral behavior?

'She's just a friend'. Read the book.

'You could do so much better, I'm on empty'.

'Quit asking me so many questions'.Like where he has been from 2-4 hrs. every day.

THings never change-what things? No reply. Just walks out the door w/head down.

You took whore to Hawaii? 'Yeah, you know like we did'. You flew over together. Nods head. How was it with her fat rolling over onto your side of your seat? Shrugs his shoulders. Think no one @ your school will notice you are both gone @ same time and come back @ same time, & very tan? So he wears long sleeves and pants for a month. Like no one put that together!

'Don't want to get your hopes up" by going out to a show, dinner, etc. But with us still married goes out w/hoe!

1) I love you but I'm not in love with you.

2) Why don't you just go out and BANG somebody.

3) It's not you it's me and it's not fair to you.

4) This isn't what I want.

5) I'm leaving and I'm never coming back.

6) I only made love to you cause I felt I had to as I was your wife.

7) I don't feel anything for you... NOTHING!!!!

Upon having a secret key cut, using it to get in at 2am and finding them actually asleep, naked in bed together, from him - " It isn't what you think!"

What was it then? A cold night and he found her wandering around outside with hypothermia? Decided the only thing to do was take her to bed and warm her up a bit?

Lol! Have you ever seen that Little Britain sketch where David Walliams as an MP stands at his mansion gate with his put upon wife and shocked children and glibly describes how "when leaning across for a mint" in the car, a piece of his anatomy accidentally slides into that of the call boy he is giving a lift to because it's a cold night? Equally credible isn't it?

So what did he say it was then? Do tell.

Oh, supposedly it "wasn't what I thought", because although they were naked and tucked up in bed together at 2am - they hadn't had sex! (That night !) So you see that proved they were just good friends! All the rest was down to my suspicious mind, and I'd always been controlling and stopped him having friends you know.

I got the same line
When i found out about the A and made the call to the hotel room OW answered the phone first.I asked who she is...(her)''Who wants to know''...(me)''the wife from the man you are f........g right now''Than he came to the phone and said''It isn't what you think,and you should've left it alone''
My answer was ''So who is she? Y our freaking sex-therapist ????''
And than he came home the next day ,looked at me and said "You can't be trusted ever again ,just need to tell you that you broke my heart'' and that i fucked up his weekend.
I did had both of them kicked out of the hotel that night....made a call to the front desk and said that my H is in room ### with a prostitute and that i am on my way in to raise hell

Hmm, I've obviously lead a sheltered life. Well, I haven't actually, but that's pushing the realms of believability a shade too far for me Doe. A very dark shade. Oh is that what controlling is? Ah I was controlling!!! Actually I did get accused of stopping her having friends as well. But she did mean friends in the true sense of the word. Well, I think she did!

I had a similar comment when I caught my ex and the skank in bed together at her house. This was after he had left home for a few months but the week before we had spent the weekend together. I thought they were over at the time and thought maybe we had a chance.

He was very angry not because he got caught out but because I apparantly was invading his privacy and stalking him. Yeah ok then. Idiot.

Rosebud

still hot from the press lol. Total NC with exH since i filed automatic income deduction. I don't answer his email messages, I put down the phone when he calls me at work. i don't answer when he calls the house phone. Heck, he was rushed to emergerncy room and i didn't bother to call him nor text him. Then i got this email just an hour ago:


exh: "if you love somebody you won't force him to stay with you. why are you forcing me?"

A couple of days ago he emailed: " Don't remind me of family pleeeaaaaasseeee" I'm sure it's not me reminding him. Conscience bothering him????

Again and again we're reminded: Truth IS stranger than fiction!

It's this opposite of what is really happening that I find so strange. After a phone call from her where I was less than unhelpful to her requests she sent me a text message that ended " THANKS FOR YOUR HELP". And she wasn't being sarcastic.

This sort of skeeved me out, When my W was on her MLCSHIP. Yuck!
She said she loved me like her brother.....YUCK!...Gross....No get that thought out of my head....no non no..happy thoughts.....lol

Ok no romance tonite......Think i'll just sim race.

Him while leaving: Didn't you notice I was depressed?
Me: I ascribed it to you over working

A few weeks later
Him: Why do you send me emails about depression. I'm not depressed.
----------------------------------------------------------
Me:How did you try to tell me our marriage was in trouble
Him: I gave you "the road less travelled"
Me: You gave that book to me two years before we got married!
----------------------------------------------------------

Don't you just LOVE men??? Talk about being PREPARED!!!!!