Just wanted to say I got home tonight and thought I would stop by forty sixty as I was thinking today on the way home from my sons baseball game .....son is with his DAD this week and it is his week... and he did not make the game....so son is riding with the team which he usually likes to do..I thought of all the familys at the game....very few who are divorced, although there are a few and how I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ONE OF THEM....anyway I walked into my little rented house.....alone to my dogs....and thought HOW DID I GET HERE...and how many people have no idea about midlife and what trauma and tradgey can do to a person where they wake up and one day they are ready to chuck it all......How does this happen??? How do people leave their family and take away their childrens Mother or Father full time....what is so bad that cant be fixed and what in the marriage is worse or cant be fixed than what the DIVORCE AND ALL THE NEW PROBLEMS IT BRINGS....??.....AS THE LBS HOW DOES THE mlcER DO THIS???........anyway.....I just wanted to stop by as I usually do daily to read whats up and new.....AND WAALAA a brand new cover....just wanted to say WOW...LOOKS GREAT....AND what a Blessing this site is..... I lean more towards thinking people should do everything they can to reconcile and be prepared to know the one LEAVING IS MOST LIKELY NOT GOING TO FIGURE THAT OUT FOR A VERY LONG TIME....and I do understand ....if ever.............I also wonder how does one do the till death do u part a second time...I wonder what it really means the second time..BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME....and I mean this especially for people in midlife and who lost a long term committed marriage ..not one where the spOuse was always a BIG JERK.............. I also understand....HOW MUCH CAN ONE PERSON TAKE OF THIS HELLISH EXPERIENCE.....so my point is really only to say...the new page ...WHAT A NICE SURPRISE AFTER A DAY OF REFLECTING....LIFE AS A DIVORCED MOM WITHOUT HER KID THIS WEEK........looks GREAT AND THANKS TO NEWMAN AND PHOENIX..FOR YOUR WISDOM...YOUR DEDICATION AND ALL THE SUPPORT YOU GIVE! I think the insignt you two have is incredible! I think your are doing what you are suppose to be doing.......AND DAYS LIKE THIS WHEN YOU WONDER HOW YOU GOT HERE....STILL.......ITS GREAT TO STOP BY AND KNOW YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE LIVING IN THIS SPACE YOU CANT BELIEVE IS REAL......but somehow youve been doing it long enough to know it is and you want and need to have a purpose to do something that matters....to mean something....just wanted to say...Great Job!

DIDN'T Newman do a great job on this??? He has been working on this for some time and there is more to come.

NONE of us thought we would ever find ourselves here but moment by moment if we keep talking about this and sharing what works for us and what will simply break off in our hands...we will survive.

And as Maya Angelou said.

"Surviving is IMPORTANT! THRIVING is ELEGANT!!!"

Every day...I see more and more people here on their way to THRIVING...keep it up.

How do I get to see the new look? it looks the same to me, maybe I am just missing something?

vickieb

Hi Vickie,
The 'new look' is on the main website.

Some folks link direct to the forum while others go to www.fortysixty.org and link through to the forums by that route; you must be a "direct hitter"! Have a look by following the link - see what you think.

Cheyenne, yes, I've been revamping the main website as part of my work on the FortySixty Board of Directors. Two reasons come to mind for doing so. First because we need to optimize our reach to more people in struggle in this midlife muddle. Second, because we have matured as a group a great deal since June 12 2005 when we kicked off the website and forum. Today we added more specific sections:
• Midlife Transition
• Midlife Crisis
• Male Menopause
• After Betrayal
• A direct link to our blogs where there is important applications and strengthening through our members
• Studies and Insights from members - So far from Scout and me while the section is growing
• A section of Recommended Reading with titles and screen shots of the book covers
• And a soon-to-be online store where you can get these books via online book sellers
• And finally an avenue for readers to give by tax-deductable donation if they have been touched or benefited by all our contribution on the website and forum*

I'm excited about the 'new look' and the opportunity to maximize our outreach to others whose lives have been devastated or undone by this MLC. I'm particularly excited about the sections for "the betrayer", which is where I come from - there are VERY LITTLE resources available anywhere for one who has betrayed but now desires to make it right. I've been revisiting this topic with some intensity the past while and have several areas of the topic to yet post up on the main website so check the main website often!

The 'main' website is the avenue all new visitors go through to arrive at the forum we post on. Everyone passes through it first. It is our "first impression" to the world. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it.

One thing that always comes to my mind when rewriting the 'website' is the abundance of insight, wisdom, and direct counsel that is only found by digging deep into the forum. There are nuggets of gold that just slip through the cracks that have been written by the members, mentors, moderators, group leaders & directors here that need to be published in a readable format. They get lost in the archives! The "new format" allows us to dig these out and place them out front again. A new E-book being written by members is being written as we speak under the direction of a committee of the Board of Directors that will do the same in an in-depth way! Its exciting to see it come together! The E-book will be made available in the online store for anyone who needs help and the resources generated will be used to help those in need while in this passage. The older version of the "main" website was primarily my words; the new is us all! And that excites me! It reveals our growth!

Along this line, I need you to take an active role too. We know that it is often by healing others that we are healed ourselves. When you reach out to another member and add them as a "friend" in your profile it goes a very long way. When you create a "blog" to record your thoughts and feelings through all this mess it might just be THE word that another person needs to hear in order to survive the next day - your posts get buried but the blogs live on! if you recall a particular post that elevated you one day - bump it up! If you are posting in PM or email to another member in private because your situation is uniquely private - guess what? 100 others needed to hear what you just wrote and the advice given but never will - allow others to hear and speak into your life and situation. I FTP'd the "new" website to the World Wide Web today even though it is incomplete because someone is reading it tonight that needed 'just this word'. Often 3400 - 6000 visitors come to FortySixty during a month (depending on the time of year); they need to hear from peers who are experiencing what you are and learning and growing through! Up to 5% of the visitors are men in MLC that will NEVER post a word! Go get them Tiger!

Newman

Whoa.......I went to that link cos I couldnt see the "new look" either.........and geez Newman.......you kicked this one outta the park..........well done mate, lovin the new look !!!

Mini

Yeah... I had to go using the new link and it does ROCK... Just looking at it shows your passion for helping people understand this transition and getting as much good information out there as possible....

Great Job

Loca

I sometimes forget that there is a site beside these forums.


THANK YOU

Its awesome! Good job Newman!!